today...
spontaneously...
and it left me feeling reassured.
I was part of a meeting this morning in which a group of us gathered together to process a challenging situation that one couple is experiencing. As we entered into their pain, we listened, asked questions, attempted to gain understanding, offered perspective, and, hopefully, helped these friends know that they are not alone in the midst of the difficult circumstances. My heart and mind felt heavy, at times, throughout the interaction - wishing so much to be able to make a significant difference in the dynamics of the situation yet knowing it's all beyond my ability to control. We ended our time together with prayer and, in my heart, I committed myself to remain in prayer for these new friends.
Afterward, as I began my walk home, I recognized a desire to pour out this burden to God. After all, He knew all that was happening and was the only one able to intervene in a significant way with all that had just been shared with us. As I turned my heart towards him in prayer, the first word that formed in my thoughts and on my lips was "Papá"! It caught me by surprise... so I repeated it... several times... And with each repetition I felt more assured by its utterance. "Papá." ... "Papá." ... "Papá."
In the Gospel of Mark, it is recorded that Jesus used the term "Abba" on an occasion when referring to God-the-Father. As one website explains:
The word ’ab·ba’′ in Aramaic corresponds to the emphatic or definite form of ’av, literally meaning “the father,” or “O Father.” It was the intimate name used by children for their fathers and combines some of the intimacy of the English word “papa” while retaining the dignity of the word “father,” being both informal and yet respectful. It was, therefore, an endearing form of address rather than a title and was among the first words a child learned to speak.
(http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090323043615AAHRrHS)
I remember hearing this type of an explanation from a Christian leader as a teen and being told that it's beneficial for us to be able to see God as our "Daddy", too - to foster interaction with God that is full of love and trust that's present in a healthy father-child relationship. If Jesus referred to God as "Abba", surely we could enter into this level of intimacy in our understanding of him as well.
The only problem was - it never worked that way for me. As hard as I tried, I could never feel comfortable referring to God as "Daddy". He was my Savior, my LORD, my Father (uttered with respect and a bit of formality)... but not my "Daddy". Until today, that is, when the word burst into my thoughts before I knew it... spontaneously... and formed in Spanish, not English. :) "Papá."
And it felt good. In fact, given the context, it felt incredibly reassuring. I could come to God, as a child, with my heavy burden. I could call out to him full of intimate respect yet fully aware of my need. And I could trust that he cared... that he was available and would respond.
I'm grateful for this experience... grateful for this expanded awareness of who God is as he relates with me... grateful to be able to call him "Papá" with childlike faith.
And I'm grateful the Spanish language has given me a term that is more comfortable for me to use as I think of "Abba" - "Papá" connects with me in a way that "Daddy" never did.
